At a recent hangout this July, I encountered parents who seemed over the parenting gig. The problem: their children were tiny. I can see feeling this way as your children get into the teen years and the feeling of annoyance here and there but clearly, the philosophy and viewpoint of the parents we encountered was one of complaint and lack of gratitude.
My husband was really kind and said perhaps it was a really tough day for them, granted their children were very close in age! Close in age or spaced by three years, I have found this similar attitude in parenting. We’re in a tough era in time: both parents have to work (I know we do!) and children are more neglected than before… time wise: I know I’m away from my children 20 hrs a week, that is 20 hours they don’t get Mommy-time and all YET the positive: they get grandma (and grandpa on the rare when he’s on a break from work) and on the weekends: they get Daddy time. For families not in the ideal situation, caregivers and daycare are second best options for supervising the children. I have found in my few years of parenting the interest, philosophy of parenting started much earlier. Parenting styles, parenting philosophies and so on started as we’re being nurtured/brought up in our childhood and carried into adulthood. We move our philosophies into marriage and conception and delivery and care of children. So, how does one avoid bad or poor parenting philosophies?
I’d like to suggest a few things… if you’re wanting to change your thinking and your mindset:
*slow down your days and events
*begin noting three things you enjoyed about your children today
*try something new with your children: going to the store, going to the lake, taking a road trip…*warning: these are challenging opportunities but worth the learning and growing. I suggest front-loading… talking about the new experience and expectations and consider a reward for after the event
*observe your circle of friends: how do they talk about their day and their children (over several conversations, you’ll notice they are hopeful, positive parents or negative and frustrated)
**after you do several of these steps, you’ll want to decide how to guide your own thinking and conversations. What comes out the mouth is a result of what’s been on your mind and heart.
*when you share your challenges and frustrations, do it in a light where you will begin sharing things you enjoy about being a parent or a goal or most importantly something you felt you learned as a parent (Do this via conversation, photos, and social media to redeem parenting philosophies)