Word Warrior

I decided this is one of my titles…

I am a wife, a mom, a daughter, a daughter-in law, a sister, a sister-in-law and so on and so forth but **now** I’m also a WORD WARRIOR.

I love to use my words but… if you have ever come across this proverb:

“When there are many words, transgression and offense are unavoidable, But he who controls his lips and keeps thoughtful silence is wise.” –Proverbs 10:19, AMP Version

Too many words equals potentional trouble?!

I don’t want to sin, though!! I pray that I carefully think, say and communicate in a way that is encouraging and loving. A sense of redemption in what we do.

I have to share that I have exchanged a couple of emails with my county leaders in these last couple of months due to much happening in our county. I have found that when I get angry, I use a lot of words. *How about you? Do you notice this pattern in you? Do you notice this pattern in others?

I pray my words are encouraging and challenging in love and understanding not hate and rage. Guys, we have to do better with our time and energy and use it good and redemption.

I challenge us this week: let’s use our words to encourage and uplift!

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. “

Proverbs 18:21 NLT version

I Was That Mom

Today for a fun Wednesday, I decided to introduce my children to a new series on Disney+ and learned a lot too late: I scared my kids! They went on before falling asleep that they felt scared… the rocking chair rocking by itself was really spooky.

*insert confusion… * or **insert laughter** you choose…

but no, I totally am that mom that messed up. HAHA

Mom-friend, we all make mistakes.

We make so many mistakes.

The thing about being a parent: being in this sacred place of humility and sacrifice… and fear and respect…

Well, where do I go from here?

Ask for forgiveness. Teach them elements of cinematography. Let them enjoy their imagination. Encourage play!!

Move on! *insert rolling on the floor emoji here*

When Your Days Are Difficult

I get it.

I’m a mom of five.

It’s not because I have five little humans to care, nurture and provide… and train, teach, and discipline but it’s because my heart is tethered to theirs.

I see their joy.

I see their tears.

I feel their hurts

I feel their fears.

You don’t have to be old and you don’t have to be young to see life is difficult.

Don’t give up.

Keep community.

Keeping community during pandemic.

How does one keep community during pandemic?

Connect with friends and family.

Write emails weekly and set up phone dates.

If you are fortunate and part of a family: stay connected to your spouse: play games, do a hobby together, and watch a movie/show.

Take walks with friends and share meals with your pod-family.

GOALS for this season:

re-building your identity… who and whose you are will help you operate well… *I am not just a wife and mom… but I am a daughter of God and an heir. I am a princess. I am forgiven, redeemed, and justified. I am strong; I am a woman of peace and joy. I trust in God and can lean on him. His grace is sufficient for me.

re-building your community… who you are around builds you up or can… tear you down. How would you say you’ve been engaging with those around you? *The news you hear? *The content of conversation? *The mood in which you enter then leave the conversation? **Who do you want in your corner… how can you cheer others on? Who is in your “inner circle” or “the board” of leadership so to speak? You and I are each responsible for our actions but who helps to keep us accountable and ask the hard questions?

Friends-I pray that this pandemic season is a little bit of a reset.

I pray you find you are making new rhythms and adding in time for creativity and connection and rest… blessings to you!

Growing Roots

I walked by and saw in the place of a maple tree was now a palm tree.

Wow. I am curious.. won’t these big tree roots spread and go deep and go wide?

Where there is foundation, pipes and sidewalk will eventually be root systems.

Do we spread out deep roots and impact foundations?

How do our roots grow? How deep? How wide? Into what foundations and structures do we impact?

Putting in the Steps

I’m doing something new!

I’ve hit four days of walking 2+ miles a day with my friend! We’ve seem to become more and more tired.

It has been a good feeling and a good new habit…our muscles are aching and tightening, we’re adding a little more each day… we went with a simple 2 miles then a little more than 2 then 3 then 3.7 and we’re going to keep pacing but we’re walking seriously and seriously walking.

It occurred to me that the task of “shedding off” is not a passive process. No, it’s one where you have to know what you are shedding off… the why, the how, and to do so… it’s intention and then you have to do the work!

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

So we’re seriously walking and walking seriously, but we’re also talking seriously and seriously talking… I’ve noticed we’re not only shedding off this so-called baby weight but we’re shedding off unforgiveness and bitterness. My friend felt shame bringing up how she’s been wrong by people in the past, we’re talking about over five years of hurt! I also brought up some hurts I’ve experienced. We aren’t gossips and we don’t want to hurt those we’ve walked with. I heard from her that she faced disrespect after disrespect. Disregard after disregard. IT was shocking! And we realized we’ve been hurt by people who themselves were hurt.

So, we decided it’s ok to shed this weight of our physical bodies and our hearts. I hurt for my friend and she for me because we’ve had people do and say things to us to guilt, cajole and so on all because it’s in the name of being “a good Christian” or “friendship” or “community.”

What I discovered is I have to shed this and make a plan…

Photo by Arek Adeoye on Unsplash
  • If I am to lose weight: I will have to do the work. Prepare meals, portion, and so on.
  • If I am to rid of bad habits: I will have to remove those habits and replace with the good.
  • If I am to exercise good community: I must know the markers of bad community or company.
  • When I hang out with friends: I will call out bad and harmful behaviors and encourage good ones.
  • To love others well, we have to model Jesus’ love and healthy boundaries.

So, we pressed on.

The back of our legs tightened.

We ached as we went uphill. But in order to get home we had to go through and push forth.

This is the process.

So tomorrow, we hit the pavement again, power walking to beat 3.5 miles and to shed the hurt we’ve felt from bad boundaries. Time to walk well and time to recoop, regain tracking and build “muscles” for good community and also tone our body, soul and spirit.

Are you walking in hurt and pain today?

Would you say that not only do your feet and body hurt but your heart, too? Me, too, friend. Me, too.

Comment below how I can be praying for you.

How Do You Do?

Charisma and character.

How do you choose who to follow? I’m talking about when you meet someone new face to face or when you come across someone on social media. Would you say charisma wins you over or character? So when you’re looking at a new “leader” do you follow someone who has great charisma or great character? I love to know what you think please comment below.

Can someone have both good character and good charisma or does one eventually weigh out the other? Let me know your thoughts.

Mama-Bear Mode

**WARNING: this is a political post (Kind of)

Today, I gave into temptation… and it got me so upset and I had to do something! Here I am..

It’s not what you think… unless what you think is about what I discovered is happening in my county (and city).

Photo from Patryk S on Unsplash.com

So, I saw it… I clicked it… I opened up Twitter and found my county, Shasta county, is dealing with 200 or so “patriots,” they call themselves, and they want the county supervisors OUT; well: three of five! Why? Well, when pandemic hit we as a city in the Golden State of California were into an infectious “purple” zone… BUT a group rose up and decided: REBEL!! Yes, led by two out of five of the supervisors (sounds a juicy novel but it’s real life)… the supervisor and his gang tried to get the rest of Shasta County to rebel and not abide by mandates!!

The people shout: we don’t want to do what the governor or leaders say! This sect was considering my county a “sovereign county” and making our own rules as NOT to abide….

What things were they rebelling against: *considering pandemic real,*trying to keep others safe, *closing businesses, *keeping distance, *limiting gatherings, *encouraging and mandating masks, and so on and so forth: this is the reason for rebellion. *I would say this is fueled by conspiracy thinking and a selfishness. Plain and simple. Heartbreaking.

I know I am not alone. It’s happening in multiple cities and around the world. We will find sects of people who prescribe to such thinking. They’re loud and proud and will cloak under religion or a sense of power and demand. It’s ok, I am not afraid. I’m upset and just trying to do something.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.com

I’m processing here: what do we do when we see this?! What do we do if our friend is associating in such group.. for the thought is: what have we come to??? Adults who scream…shout… pout! And the reality is there is threat of physical violence from the mentality in the sect: “militia mentality” led by a few of the men. *As a child of a refugee, I pray it doesn’t go far, but it started in Cambodia with a few men… yes…it started… with… a few….

This is truly disconcerting because the leaders of the county were abiding by state guidelines and standards during pandemic. You know: to consider HOW to best care for THE MOST people FOR THE MOST amount of time for the BEST effect and outcome…

Yet, because of the rowdy few, the leaders are facing a recall.

Here’s the deal:

We’re living in pandemic, right? In case anyone reads this and DOESN’T know: we’re living in a pandemic. It’s a “live animal” so to speak and has to be something you learn hands on and day to day! Anyway, I am teaching my children, 2nd and 3rd graders, about rights and responsibilities and sadly, we are seeing a confusion in ADULTS who do not know the definition and then the differences of what is a right and what is a responsibility.

My breakdown:

People have been angry, bitter and hostile due to an infringement of their personal desire of “me, my, mine…”

See: People have been mad that they have to consider others and wear a mask or consider others and not gather continually… living life and moving at neck-breaking speeds… people have been very angry at this virus that has greatly impacted life and “normal” yet the blame has been left on anyone who has made attempts for a safer and cautious way of living while this virus is being studied and understood. People have been so mad that change has happened. *Change for most people, like 99% is difficult and seen as the enemy.

So, I wanted to share I was angry seeing this email; I refuse to see and allow this for my city. I am not sitting idly by. My children will be taught love and humility and being assertive is good… not aggression, anger and bitterness. We don’t operate in this code.

The sect of people have slipped in to many groups claiming the code for operating is religious. What religion? I don’t know but I do know if they operate outside of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control: I know not of such people. They aren’t part of my crew…

Finally, What did I do? Wrote the board for my public comment to be read next Monday. I also encouraged the board and emailed them personally. The fun thing: I got to encourage two leaders! I know they’re working hard. I am thankful for our city, county and government leaders. No person is perfect by any means but to serve in any capacity especially during pandemic is difficult!!

My prayer tonight: Lord, may we be people who operate by your standards and leading. May we be full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I pray for our county supervisors. I pray for strength, joy and peace. We ask for wisdom for leaders. May fear not knock but honor, humility and a sense of service. Lead Patrick Jones, Mary Rickertt, Leonary Moty, Les Baugh, and Joe Chimenti. We need you daily. Forgive us for when we choose self and serve self. I pray against greed for money and power. May each leader continue to consider what do we do to serve the people of Shasta County well? May they operate in peace and patience. I pray against the recall efforts and those who wish to cause harm. I pray for restoration of relationships and families in this county. Amen.

Bring Me to Praise

Reflection
Inspection of the mind, heart, and soul

Setting a direction
Giving forth affection
More than moving towards a goal

It's intention
It's growth

Reflect then inspect then move forward with intent
Grow in maturity

Put away immaturity and impurity
Go forth in wisdom and understanding

-Sudea, April 2nd, 2021

Exercise Time!

I do enjoy a look-back… a good pondering…

I look back at these last few years; more recently, these last few weeks in particular and I dare say that the hard times I had to face have been to me a blessing… a reset… a pause.

If you flipped through my journal you might see: “Burdened. Exhausted. Tired. Low Pleasantness. Low energy. Sad. Weary. Worn. ” You see, as a parent I am “on” 24/7. I usually get maybe 1-5 minutes to myself, if I can make it. I know this, you don’t have to be a parent to have these kind of journal entries, or thoughts… you just have to be a person!

I can tell you that this place of weariness could not be seen it as a blessing while in the “thick of it” but when I read in the book of James in the Bible, I’m told to count it all joy when I face trials!!

My cries have been heard … Psalm 34:4 says “I sought the Lord, and he answered me. He delivered me from all my fears.” Yes, these last few weeks have held many fears… many unrealistic yet so real.

Many times when the hardships stack and the weights are the heaviest, muscles are being formed.

When I am facing storms, I form new plans and processes…build resilience and remembrance.

Let’s enter into a time of remembrance this Easter 2021 Season…

photo by “possessed photography” on unsplash.com

Pause…

Photo by “Fa Barboza” on Unsplash.com

Pray…

Photo by “Melissa Askew” on Unsplash.com

Praise…

Start your time with praise and talking to God. Tell him about how grateful you are that he the God that is… Able, Almighty, All-knowing, All-powerful, Beautiful, Creator, Deliverer, Divine, Exalted, Enthroned, Faithful, Father, Good, Glorious, Holy, Host of Heaven’s Armies…

My prayer for you today: Lord, I pray that we would be a people renewed with life.

May we renewed this Easter Season. For friends who have not entered into life with Christ, I pray for my friend reading today. Restore right relationship and let me receive forgiveness of sins and a place among God’s family. God, I have heard and read: John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

God, I admit that I am a sinner in need of a Savior. I believe on Jesus’ name that he is the Way, Truth and the Life. I want new life this day. I am willing. Lord, I trust you with my life. I confess my sins, turn from them and receive new life in Jesus today. Amen!

Let me know if you prayed this prayer!!

Welcome to God’s family! (it’s that simple and you may not feel anything–it’s not necessarily an emotional experience…just an experience and an understanding that you’ve prayed the prayer and now you’re part of God’s family. Nothing can take his love from you, ever!)

Month of April and Emotions

Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

Hi Dear Reader,

How are you today?

I hope you are doing well. If you are just “ok” I hope you are sitting with what makes it “ok” and not “good, fine, etc”

I am ok, too.

You see, I have had several days of low pleasantness and energy. Per Marc Brackett’s “RULER” method.. I am taking time and making room for me to recognize my emotions, understand what got me here and where it’s taking me, Learn, Engage and Respond… (I could be off on the RULER method… google it *wink*)

Let’s address one thing: Can you believe it is already the 4th month in 2021?! I cannot! For me, time has flown by. As a mama to five little ones, time slips between my fingers quicker than water or smoother than sand.

I am not able to freeze the moments that fill me with wonder nor can I speed up or skip those times that frustrate me.

So, let’s talk about redeeming the time…

Scripture says…

Ephesians 5:15-20
New American Standard Bible 1995
15 Therefore [a]be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16 [b]making the most of your time, because the days are evil. 17 So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, [c]for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to [d]one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; 20 always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to [e]God, even the Father;

Let’s redeem our time.

Let’s choose to make the better choice…even if it’s uncomfortable or don’t have it in us…

I know it’s hard, believe me: having five little ones, I can feel like the day is done and I haven’t got out of be yet….

You say, “You’re a mom, you’re not suppose to say that!”

I reply, “I know, but it’s ok; it’s what moms feel at times. It’s just the truth. And just because I am here some of the times does not mean I live here all of the time.”

Have you heard of you can’t control the bird that lands on your head, but you don’t have to make a nest for it… (I could be off here, too, google the saying!)…

Here’s to redeeming the time:

*Pause and Pray

*Talk with a friend

*Journal and process

*Go for a walk

How about you?! How are redeeming the time?