What a time we are in! We are in a season of much loss and heartache & grieving these last couple of months of March and April 2020 during the COVID-19 Pandemic.
Lately, friend after friend pouring out their hearts sharing that they feel the “blahs” or “bleh.” Scrolling through Social Media and seeing many who seem outright disrespectful: it’s Denial, the first step in the grief cycle! Covid-19 is real, folks. Grief comes in different waves and all people grieve differently! Grieving can go up and down, “soft and strong”… no one person grieves identically to another.
I listened in on one of my favorite Authors and Bible Teachers, Margaret Feinberg and she drove the point home and helped me to see that I was grieving! *If you want to check out Jammie Time with Margaret (Feinberg), I highly recommend it!
Though I would consider myself a “joy warrior” I know that joy is intermingled in grieving. You cannot have ups without downs and you cannot have good without bad. As with joy: I have to grieve well to experience joy. I am so grateful that in this season, I have had much rise up “above the surface” of my heart and I am processing. With how I am processing, I decided to make a “loss list” as Missionaries David and Aleah Nishizaki wrote about in their recent newsletter. I have lost a bit! For my own heart and mind space… much has been lost. Don’t get me wrong: I have much to be thankful for as an American. It’s almost ridiculous! However, I am asking the Lord to “bring my heart home” and to come before him with my list.
What’s on your “loss list?”
I’ll share some of mine. As an extrovert, I like to be out there with people and get out of my home to recharge by seeing other people: like a friend and have coffee or tea with! I enjoy working outside of the home as well! I have to prepare NOT to touch people when I see them!
My husband has been laid off temporarily. Oh my heart. I am grieving with him and for him and for us as a family. I see my man down at times and my heart hurts for him. He’s such a good husband and father.
I have lost a sense of “me” time
I have lost a place to hide! I like to have time to go “unplug” in a way from my husband and children and to plug into solitary Jesus time! (this is changing though)
I have lost the freedom to freely just be next to someone without feeling like “who did they touch!”
I have missed hanging out at my in laws weekly and hugging them and seeing kids climb over Amma and Papa!
Above are just a few examples of how I feel loss!
Dear friend, let your heart feel. Process what your mind is thinking. Talk to your spouse and connect! Talk to your roommate and connect! Call and friend and connect! We’re all grieving together! There are thousands of loved ones dying a day in the U.S. alone and we’re bound to our home as a respect and service. As you are ready… let your mind process and your heart process. Go to the one who can heal hearts and make you whole and comfort perfectly.
Dear God, Thank you for today. Lord, I am aching on the inside. I am so mad that people are dying and I’m so mad that there are people who laugh and poke fun at death and sickness as if people deserve to die. Lord, you love perfectly and like in your word, Romans 5:8 ..[ while I was was a sinner… Jesus died for us]! God, will you help me to work through the hard places. Help me to be tender and loving to others while I hurt. Help me to know I can be real with you. Thank you are with me and for me. Help bring healing to my heart in Jesus’ name. Amen